Personal Rating: 1.7 Stars Goodreads Rating: 3.55 Stars Individuality vs. Conformity Identity vs. Access Freedom vs. Control The bar code tattoo. Everybody's getting it. It will make your life easier, they say. It will hook you in. It will become your identity. But what if you say no? What if you don't want to become a code? For Kayla, this one choice changes everything. She becomes an outcast in her high school. Dangerous things happen to her family. There's no option but to run...for her life. (goodreads.com) I honestly do not know what to say about this book first. Do I comment on that zombie like figure on the cover? The many errors within the story? The poor writing? Or the hilariousness of how bad it was? I don’t know! So I guess I’ll start with this: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS WAS TOO FUNNY! THE MELODRAMA! THE CHARACTERS! THE ROMANTIC SCENES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but I can’t stop snickering at this book. It wasn’t that the topic was funny - far from it! It wasn’t like the situations were funny, in fact I don’t think a single joke was cracked throughout the entire book. It was just… the writing. The writing is, how shall I put this nicely? Reminiscent of the writing styles of twelve year old Corrie. And let me tell you, twelve year old me was no prodigy. Okay, okay, it was much better than what I could write when I was a preteen. However, the style was not something I enjoyed. I would like to give you a quote from probably the most romantic scene in the book to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. “She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his chest. He embraced her, holding tight. Then she looked up at him and they kissed.” -The Barcode Tattoo, Chapter 22, page 206 And then a little bit later the love interest says: “I love you Kayla, I’ve loved you since the first day we met … I thought I loved you back then, but that was nothing compared to the way I feel about you now.” -The Barcode Tattoo, Chapter 22, page 207 Okay? So you’ve loved her since you met her, but you only thought you loved her because how you felt then is nothing compared to how you feel now? I’m slightly confused. The next paragraph left me even more confuddled. Seriously, take a look: “Kayla listened, growing happier with every word. They were so close now. She’d known since they kissed at the truck stop that day that she loved him - was in love with him and loved him deeply as a person, both. She knew he felt the same. Why else would he have gone through all of this with her? But hearing the words made it so real, so out in the open. And then she heard snoring.” -The Barcode Tattoo, Chapter 22, page 207 Wait, I’m sorry, what? She was in love with him and loved him deeply as a person, both? Can someone please explain this line to me? I seriously am so bewildered by that line. What the heck does it mean (pardon my language)? What? What? WHAT? Was there no better way to word this? None at all? I just… I don’t… I can’t… HUH? And then there is that line about hearing snoring. Now, I don’t want to get too spoilery, but the guy who, moments before, confessed his love for this girl just fell asleep. I’m not kidding. That’s what happened next. He said he loved her and then he fell asleep. Um. Again I am left to ask: what the heck? Let’s talk about the premise of the book, shall we? It’s quite interesting. A dystopian story about a future (not too far a future, it’s set in 2025) where everyone wears these barcode tattoos, which are seemingly awesome. One swipe of this and you’ve paid for whatever you were buying. Get pulled over? Police can just scan your arm rather than worry about a driver’s license. All of your information is in this tattoo so you don’t have to worry about a thing. Oh, and who controls these tats (or ‘toos, as they are referred to in the book)? Global-1, the company who runs pretty much everything in the world, including the American and European governments. And what’s this? For some reason there are people who are desperate to get the ink removed? So desperate that they’ll try and burn it off? But why would anyone want to get rid of something so convenient? Sounds pretty creepy and like an exciting read. Yeah, the idea is great. I’m just not sure it was carried out in the best way possible. While the plot was indeed a bit spooky with all the secrets that get revealed, it also jumped around really fast. One moment we’re worried about school bullies and the next we are trekking through the wilderness. And though it was really easy to follow along with, it seemed a little like info dumping to me. You know how they tell young authors to “show don’t tell”? What they mean by that is “let your readers see a picture of what’s going on without actually giving them any answers”. Unfortunately, in some cases we will have the book basically vomit all of the facts onto the reader (pardon my imagery) and then move on. This was one of those instances. Alright, alright, let’s talk about the characters. Kayla was very grounded in her beliefs. She stuck to her gut and that was admirable. Even when the going got tough and it would have been so easy to give into the peer pressure, she said “no” and did what she thought was right. That’s real good of you, Kayla. Real nicely done. I ran out of positive things to say about her. She was boring. Like, Bella Swan boring. Like, standing in line waiting for a lecture on dirt boring. That’s really the only other thing I can think to say about her though. I didn’t hate her, I just didn’t like her at all. She was dull. The two boys who were important to the plot (there were other boys they just didn’t do anything interesting) were Mfumbe and Zekeal. I cannot say much about them without spoiling things for you, should you chose to read this book for yourself, but apart from one big instance they were basically the same guy. They like the same girl, they are part of the same outcast group, and they don’t do anything but swoop in and save Kayla on a couple of occasions. I feel like the MC’s best friend, Amber, was crucial at some point in the story and then I just kind of forgot she was alive. I’ve heard there are two more books to the series and maybe that’s when Amber shows up again, but I don’t think she’s doing much that’s relevant so who knows if she’ll ever be mentioned again. I should probably calm down a bit and stop ranting about this book, but I found it so funny. The writing style had me in giggles and rolling my eyes the whole way through. The sporadic and intense plotline was a teensy weensy bit over the top (I wish I could tell you the shocking discovery Kayla makes about herself, but that’s a spoiler), and it just made me laugh how often the direction changed. One minute we’re in the hospital and the next we are driving to Canada at 140 mph! Then we find out that Kayla is actually - oh, right, spoilers. Sorry. Despite this book’s many, many, many, many flaws I enjoyed it heartily. It was so absurd that I couldn’t help but like and hate it. However, I don’t think I will be reading the next two books in the series. Thanks for listening to me go on and on about this dorky book. I hope if you read it you get as much enjoyment out of it as I did. If you read my next post or left a comment that would be totally “final level”! Image: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/592089.The_Bar_Code_Tattoo
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